Tuesday, June 10, 2008

RIP Jakey Quakey the best dog ever

I'm so sorry to tell you this but Jake died tonight. We had him put to sleep at City of Angels. This morning he refused to go for his walk, so Ryan's mom (who is visiting) was going to walk him later, then he wet the bed. Then he refused to drink his water, and was trembly and in the evening he had shallow breaths and was more tired and clingy than usual. Ryan and I took him to the vet and his gums were white, so they gave him a blood transfusion and oxygen and told us they thought he was bleeding internally. They thought that probably the cancer had spread to his liver or one of his internal organs, and he was bleeding there. They said if we had not brought him in, he probably would have died at home tonight gasping for breath. So we made the decision to put him sleep. He got an extra spring in his step from the blood transfusion, then he was let into the room with us and licked us and we petted him and said thank you to him and goodbye. They had brought in a blanket and he rested on the blanket and in my arms and was very peaceful.

We are still in shock over it, we were hopeful about the special diet and cancer drugs and thought we'd have more time with him. I wish I had one more trip to the dog park with him and one more cuddle sleeping next to him. The worst part about going through this is that he is always licking my tears when I'm sad and now he's not here to do it.

The above is from an email I wrote a few minutes ago to the founder of the rescue group we got Jake from. For those that do not know me or are reading this by mistake, Jake was my English pointer mix, furry firstborn child. We adopted him in 2004, when he was 7 years old. He became my baby, my little shadow, guardian angel, licker of tears, defender of squirrels and labrador retrievers, cleaner-upper of table scraps.

When we had Lauren, we worried about whether he would be good with kids. He wasn't just good with her, he was absolutely angelic. He suffered getting bitten by her, his fur pulled, his tail yanked, his ears pinched, his eyes poked, etc. In fact, when he got his first cancer tumor, we were hoping Lauren had somehow gouged him in the nose when we weren't looking. It must be said, Lauren also kissed, petted and doled out many treats and crumbs from many messy meals. He used to lick her and make her giggle and he's always be near her. Once when she was a baby and I took a shower while she napped, she woke up and cried. Jake came to the bathrooom and scratched at the shower door-which he'd never done before-so that I'd know she needed me.

It's late at night as I type this. I'm sobbing and it's made worse by the memory of another time a few years ago when I had another tragic loss and Jake used to stay awake by my side, following me even into the bathroom, nudging his hose under my chin, licking my tears as if to say "chin up, you can get through this". And I know I will get through this loss of him, too. But how I wish he were here to help me through it.

Rest in peace my little doggy love, my angel, my jakey quakey little shakey bakey. Mommy loves you.


jenna! said...

I'm so sorry.

Palace Fan thats a NEW Dad said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. Remember the good times.