RIP Jakey Quakey the best dog ever

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I'm so sorry to tell you this but Jake died tonight. We had him put to sleep at City of Angels. This morning he refused to go for his walk, so Ryan's mom (who is visiting) was going to walk him later, then he wet the bed. Then he refused to drink his water, and was trembly and in the evening he had shallow breaths and was more tired and clingy than usual. Ryan and I took him to the vet and his gums were white, so they gave him a blood transfusion and oxygen and told us they thought he was bleeding internally. They thought that probably the cancer had spread to his liver or one of his internal organs, and he was bleeding there. They said if we had not brought him in, he probably would have died at home tonight gasping for breath. So we made the decision to put him sleep. He got an extra spring in his step from the blood transfusion, then he was let into the room with us and licked us and we petted him and said thank you to him and goodbye. They had brought in a blanket and he rested on the blanket and in my arms and was very peaceful.

We are still in shock over it, we were hopeful about the special diet and cancer drugs and thought we'd have more time with him. I wish I had one more trip to the dog park with him and one more cuddle sleeping next to him. The worst part about going through this is that he is always licking my tears when I'm sad and now he's not here to do it.
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The above is from an email I wrote a few minutes ago to the founder of the rescue group we got Jake from. For those that do not know me or are reading this by mistake, Jake was my English pointer mix, furry firstborn child. We adopted him in 2004, when he was 7 years old. He became my baby, my little shadow, guardian angel, licker of tears, defender of squirrels and labrador retrievers, cleaner-upper of table scraps.

When we had Lauren, we worried about whether he would be good with kids. He wasn't just good with her, he was absolutely angelic. He suffered getting bitten by her, his fur pulled, his tail yanked, his ears pinched, his eyes poked, etc. In fact, when he got his first cancer tumor, we were hoping Lauren had somehow gouged him in the nose when we weren't looking. It must be said, Lauren also kissed, petted and doled out many treats and crumbs from many messy meals. He used to lick her and make her giggle and he's always be near her. Once when she was a baby and I took a shower while she napped, she woke up and cried. Jake came to the bathrooom and scratched at the shower door-which he'd never done before-so that I'd know she needed me.

It's late at night as I type this. I'm sobbing and it's made worse by the memory of another time a few years ago when I had another tragic loss and Jake used to stay awake by my side, following me even into the bathroom, nudging his hose under my chin, licking my tears as if to say "chin up, you can get through this". And I know I will get through this loss of him, too. But how I wish he were here to help me through it.

Rest in peace my little doggy love, my angel, my jakey quakey little shakey bakey. Mommy loves you.

Bleck

Some not so good stuff has been happening lately. We found out, within 24 hours, that Ryan's car has a blown head gasket and will only last about another 6 months, and worse news about Jake. That bloody nose he had? Since I last wrote, he had to visit the emergency vet, then his regular vet, then back the next day for surgery on what they found to be a tumor. And then we found out yesterday that he has cancer, a kind called lymphangeo carcoma. The vet is pretty confident that he got all of the tumor, but still, we need to have him checked and x-rayed and make sure it didn't spread internally. We already spent $800 on the current tumor, on top of the $500 last month (when he threw up and we didn't know why, then $500 later we still didn't find out why). Then he might have to go on anti-cancer drugs or somesuch thing. We find out more at his 2 week checkup.

Anyway, the cancer is the worst news, the car is not good either but as my mom says "it's only money." Money which we seem to be giving away faster than we earn these days, but still, only money which we can always earn more of. I'm starting to fear, though, that our Jake days are limited. So I'm sure I have been spoiling him a little more lately. He's been so good throughout this. Even the vet's office commented on how sweet he'd been. If you don't know what I mean, ask Ryan to tell you the story of what Jake did when he picked him up from surgery a few years ago...

Jake update

He's currently being cut open. Poor guy! The vet is going to see if they are fatty tumors (normal, just how some dogs put on weight). If they are, great, no worries, they'll come out but that's all. If they look *different*, then he's going to send some tissue out to a $pathologist$ and they'll biopsy them and tell us what we're dealing with.

While he's unconcious, Jake will also have his teeth brushed and nails trimmed. When he comes home, he'll be wearing an Elizabethan collar and have stiches. He'll be on painkillers & antiobiotics, plus probiotics to counter the antis. My big worries are of course, cancer, but also that when he gets home, Lauren will be so excitd to see him that she'll hurt him. And that, as he did last time he had surgery, he will become obsessed with getting the collar off and will do nothing else but focus his energy on chewing, wiggling, maneuvering, until it is off! And then process to take out his stiches. :(

Think good thoughts for the little guy!