On Saturday, your mom and I went to Chargers' Stadium to get our flu shots. You drive around the outer perimeter of the stadium parking lot until you come upon some tents. After you show the proper identification, they give you flu shots while you drive past.
You never get out of the car during the hour-long process ...unless you need to use the porta-lets.
You can imagine how much trouble I got into. Halfway through the caravan, a nurse stopped us and asked
if we were here for flu shots.
"No," I said, "We thought we would get here a day early for Sunday's game."
At the next stop, the asked if we had any allergies to shots.
"Shots!" I said. "I thought this was the Elks Club car wash."
So it went until we finally got up to the front of the line and my cell phone rang.
It was a recorded advertisement advising me that I was now eligible to have my arteries replaced under an experimental program. No really, new arteries for free!
So I stayed on the line and dutifully hit "1" when it came time to leave my name and number.
I left the name Oscar Predavaducci at 619-9004-44302.
Believe it or not, they called me again on my cell phone this morning to confirm that Oscar Predavaducci had an appointment to get artificial arteries.
I saw this once on an e-mail, but I never thought it would actully work.
I told the lady that she had reached a secure, encrypted phone for the National Transportation Safety Board and that I was investigating at the site of a downed helicopter.
"Do you know anything about this crash, ma'am?" I asked.
"No, No!" I just called to confirm an appointment with one of our clients."
"Who would that be? I asked.
"Uh, um ... Oscar Predavaducci...I'm not sure how to spell it."
"How well did you know the late Mr. Predavaducci?" I asked. "Did you have a recent disagreement with the victim?"
"What? No I didn't even know him. I just solicit names of people who would be eligible to for our services."
"And how did you get Mr. Predavaducci's private, unlisted phone number that happens to be on the "do not call list"?
"I don't know, my supervisor isn't here right now. Would you like to call her back?"
"Let me get this straight....You called an unlisted number on the do not call list to the deceased victim of what is now shaping up to be a felony murder. You did so, crossing state lines, which is a federal offense. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask for your exact location and that you remain on the premises until our agents can get there."
She hung up on me.
How rude can these solicitors be?