Today I spent $160 at Costco, which is some kind of world's record for me, considering I generally don't like the place. How un-American of me! To admit, out loud and in print, that I don't like the giant bulk-sized quantites and shoppers, mini-van & SUVs in the parking lot, loud people on cellphones waiting on long lines to show their IDs as if it were an exclusive club, then waiting longer inside like pigs at the feed trough to get samples of whatever wares the store is pushing, and then again as you get to the checkout where they don't even have bags (!) but shove your merchandise into, say, boxes that margarine came in. You then wait in another line for someeone to highlight your receipt and pretend to scan the contents of your cart "for your protection". For this privledge, you pay $65 a year.
Why do I go, and why pay $65 a year? Secretly, I don't pay, my mother does. Or, since we have a joint business membership from when I almost started a business back in 1999, the "CFO of my company does". Oh, and that is another thing-my mom to this day gets junk mail at my home address, sent through Costco. They are not upfront about this, but they sell members' info to AmEx and other businesses. She constantly gets insurance offers, etc., the kind of things a real CFO might be interested in, despite all of my attempts to remove her name from any list. (BTW, she has never lived here and never gotten any legit mail here.)
Anyway, back to shopping. I go twice a year. I go around April to buy contact lenses (although lately, I've stopped, and I pay twice as much to directly buy them from my optometrist, whom I adore). and I go in December to pick up some holiday items. I usually buy the boxes of Belgian chocolates to give as gifts for those people you're never sure what to get, and I buy the boxes with liquor filled chocolate bottles in them, for me. :) This year, they were out of both things, but I did manage to find $160 worth of other things. One large $100 item was a nameless gift for a certain person who may or may not read this blog so it shall remain a mystery. The rest? Oxiclean, La Brea Bakery bread, ravioli, 3-pack of organic milk and some photo prints.
Oh, and I think I almost got shot in the parking lot. SUVs were circling like vultures, waiting for my spot, and I chose that moment to have the audacity to strap my child into her car seat and give her some bites of pizza to eat, which did take an extra 60 seconds out of someone else's busy day.
Little Punk Butts
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